Thief with knife: tera paisa nikaal!
Man:do you know who i am? I am a politician.
Thief: accha ? To phir mera paisa nikaal....!
............ .......... ......... ......... ......... .........
Ek yug tha jab log ghar ke dwar par likhte the ATITHI DEVO BHAVA
Phir likha SHUB LAABH
Fir likha UR WELCOME
Aur ab
KUTTE SE SAAWDHAN.
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Jab tum angdayi leti ho tho mera dum nikal jata hai
Jab tum angdayi leti ho tho mera dum nikal jata hai
Arey thoda deodrant lagane main tera kya jata hai:)
............. ......... ......... ......... ......... .........
Woh hamari gali me aaye...
Woh hamari gali me aaye....
Woh hamari gali me aaye...
Aur chillake bole.....
Paper Raddi wala !!!!!
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ..........
2 sardarjis looking at Egyptian mummy.
Sar 1 : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.
Sar 2 : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!....
............ ......... .......... ......... ......... ...
A Tamilian call up sardar and asks " tamil therima??"
Sardar got mad, angrily replied.... "Hindi tera baap!!!"
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ...
Sardar is in a dissection class of cockroach.. He cuts its 1 leg, and says,
"chal", it walks.
He cuts 2nd and 3rd legs and said, "chal" , it walks.
He cuts all the legs and said, "chal...." Finally he wrote the conclusion.. ....
..... "after all the legs of a cockroach are cut - it becomes deaf......"
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Sardar shouting 2 his girl friend " u said v will do register marriage and cheated me, I was waiting 4 u yesterday whole day in the post office...."
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Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Funny SMS - 17
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Shayri - 5
ZINDAGI kisi ki AMANAT nahi hoti
AMANAT mei kabhi KHAYANAT nahi hoti
Hum se DOSTI zara sanbhal k krna
Humari DOSTI ki qaid mei ZAMANAT nahi hoti
............ ......... ......... .........
Nasha jaruri hai zindagi k liye,
sirf sharab hi nahi hai bekhudi k liye,
kisi ki mast nigahon me doob ja ae dost,
bada hasi samundar hai khudkushi ke liye.
............ ......... ......... .........
Zindagi ka raaz raaz rehne do,
Jo bhi ho aitraaz aitraaz rehne do,
Jab yeh dil dilse, baat karna chahe,
Dost yeh mat kehna aaj rehne do.
............ ......... ......... .........
Apni aankhon ke samandar main utar Jane de.
Tera mujrim ho doob kar mar Jane de.
Kisi ke kehne se meri chahat tere kaam Na hogi.
Sochta ho kahoon tumse magar Jane de.
............ ......... ......... .........
Sitam karo ya na karo, hum gila nahi karte,
virano mein phool kabhi khila nahi karte,
magar itna yaad rakhana hamesha ke
hum jaise dost bar-bar mila nahi karte.
............ ......... ......... .........
Hichkiyon se ek baat ka ehsaas hota hai
ke shayad koi hamen yaad to karta hai
beshak milne na aaye per
chandh lamhen hum per barbaad to karta hai.!
............ ......... ......... .........
Dost kabhi dosto se khafaa nahi hote..
Mil jaye dil to kabhi juda nahi hote
bhula dena meri kamiyon ko.
Kyu ki insan kabhi khuda nahi hote....
............ ......... ......... .........
Zakhm dene ka andaz kuch aisa hai.
Zakhm dekar puchte hai ab hal kaisa hai.
Kisi ek se gila kya karna yaro,
sari dunia ka mizaz ek jaisa hai..
............ ......... ......... .........
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Shayri - 4
HAR AHAT EHSAS HAMARA DILAYEGE,
HAR HAWA KISSA HAMARA SUNAYEGI,
HUM ITNI YADEEN BHAR DENGE,
NA CHATE HUA BHI APKO YAAD HAMARE AYEGI..
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SUNA HAI WO KEH GAYE KI AB TOH SIRF TUMHARE KHWABO MAIN HI AYEGE
KOI KEH DE UNSE KI WOH VADA KARLE HUM ZINDAGI BHAR K LIYE SO JAYEGE......
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Kagaz pe humne zindagi likh di,
Ashkon se seench har khushi likh di,
Dard jab humne ubhara lafzo pe,
Logon ne kaha wah kya gazal likh di...
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Na gujarna eid ke din kisi majid ke samne se
kahi log chand samaj kar roja na tod de
Hokar khafa kudha tumse kahi
chand jaisa chera banana na chhod de...
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Zid apni na chhodi
Aur pyar bhara dil tod diya
Kuchh paiso k liye zaalim
Tumne sms karna chhod diya
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Darr-darr bhatkate hain armaan ki tarha,
Har koi humse milta hai anjaan ki tarha,
In dosto se call ki kya aas karen,
Ye to SMS bhi karte hain ehsaan ki tarha
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When u mix rice in milk u call it kheer.
When u mix vinegar in milk u call it paneer..
When u mix a sweet person like me in ur life ..
U call it takdeer.
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Mushkurana har ladki ki adaa hai,
Gaur farmana, Mushkurana har ladki ki adaa hai,
Use jo mohabbat samjh le, wo sabse bada gadha hai.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Hindi SMS -10
Beggar: Saab 12Rs do na coffee peeni hai.
Man: Lekin coffee to 6Rs ki hai?
Beggar: Par Saab girlfrend bhi to hai.
Man: Bhikari hokar bhi GF banali.
Beggar: Na Saab,GF NE Bhikari bana diya!
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Dosti karo college wali se,
Ishq karo office wali se,
Flirt karo pados wali se,
Pyaar karo dilwali se,
Aankh larao sali se,
Aur maar khao ghar wali se.
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Safar lamba hai dost banate rahiye,
Dil mile na mile haath badate rahiye,
Taj na banaiye costly padega,
Har taraf Mumtaj banate rahiye.
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Ravan decides to apologize to Ram.
Ram opens the door.
Ravan blankly stares at Ram & can you guess what he is thinking?
Sala kiss moonh se maafi maangu.
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Suno gaur se pepsi walo,
Buri nazar na coke pe dalo,
Chahe jitna dew pila lo,
Sabse aage hoga NIMBU PANI!!
Hai na hum pure hindustani.. .
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Namo-namo patni maharani, tumhri mahima koi na jani.
Hamne samjha tum abla ho, par tumto sabse badi bala ho.
Jis din haath me Belan aawe, Us din PATNI khub chillave.
Sare bed pe PATNI sove, Pati baith farsh par rove.
Tumse hi ghar MATHURA KASHI, aur tumshe ghar Satyanashi.
Patni Chalisha jo nar gave, sab such chhod param dukh paave
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Funny SMS - 16
Boy : Janeman! Tute huye dil se pyaar karogi ya dil tutne tak pyaar karogi.
Girl : Haramkhor! Tuti huye chappal se pitega ya chappal tutne tak pitega.
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Karan johar ka kamal
Kuch kuch hota hai : Luv ur friends
K3g : Luv ur parents
Kal ho na ho : Luv ur neighbours
Kabhi alvida na kehna : Luv other's wife.
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Mil giya Oye mil gaya,
Oye oye mil giya,
Oho mil giya,
Ballay Ballay…
Mil he giya,
Aaj to mil he giya,
Yeh sms phadne wala ek aur bewqoof mil gaya!!!
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Ek bacha paida hotay hi nurse say bola: Mobile hai?
Nurse: Kya karo gay?
Bacha: GOD ko miss call deni hay kye khariat say pohanch gaya hoon.
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Hathi aur chenti ka prem vivah hua,
Dusre din hathi mar gaya,
Cheenti boli "wah re mohabbat"
Ek din ka pyar mila,
Aur sari umar kabar khodne ka kaam mila
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Wife to her husband: janu meri blouse utaro..
AB aisa karo mera ghaghra bhi utaro.
Aur khabardar Jo aaj k baad mere kapde pehne to :p
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Ek admi chupkay se jahanum se nikala aur jannat main chala gaya. Frishtay NE pakar kar khob mara.
Maar khanay k baad admi utha, kapray jharray aur bola: Tumhari in he harkaton ki wajha se koi jannat main nahi ata.
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